She thought to herself, “This is now.”
She was glad that the cozy house, and Pa and Ma and the firelight and the music, were now. They could not be forgotten, she thought, because now is now. It can never be a long time ago. (From Little House In The Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder)
When I think about now, I feel as if there could never be a better time or a time more worth remembering. Just now everything is going well and my healthy children are sleeping peacefully and all my needs and a lot of my wants are met. It’s a good place to be. We don’t have the kind of lack that creates fear and stress and we don’t have the kind of wealth that produces the same. My relationships are all fine. We just bought a house we love and we’re leaving a house that we have loved. I feel very cozy.
There have been times when I have lived in fear and worry. I was worried that the rug would be pulled out from under me, that if things were going well it must be just a matter of time before something goes terribly, terribly wrong. I had major anxiety about the safety of my husband when he was away from me or the safety of my children even while they were under my gaze. But what does it serve, this kind of worry?
As certain as I am that things are well right now, I am equally certain that they will not always be this way. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there are hard times to come because it is the way life is. Someday I will surely have to deal again with a crushing loss. It is entirely possible that we could yet face financial upheaval or a devastating injury or illness. Natural disasters will strike. Hardship is a given.
But now, right now, is a gift.
Rather than squander the gift worrying about what shape future hardship may take, I will snuggle down and enjoy it. I choose to enjoy the people around me and the time that we have together, the wonderful place in which we have the privilege of living. And someday when we do have something hard come our way, the memory of this time will be sweet to us. Now. This is now.
This is now.